Well let’s say I’ve been gone for a long time and it’s getting kind of repetitive saying this at the start of every blogpost.
Let’s get straight to it.
I completed my 100daysofmakeupchallenge on Instagram and was drained. In a good way, but exhausted nonetheless.
After that everything came crashing down, my insomnia hit like never before. The new job I started went to shit and I had to quit, yet again after the 3 month mark. This had me come to the realisation that I’m just not ready to withstand any kind of pressure just yet. That is one frustrating realisation to say the least. The only thing I was ever sure of being wether I was healthy or ot was that I was in fact a reliable person. Well depressionhas gone and taken that away. I’ve been battling depression for more than three years now and am still at the same spot I was in the beginning. If I’m being totally honest I might have even taken a few steps back in the past three months.
My traumas have come to haunt me. Not only do they stop me from falling asleep but they haunt me in my dreams. So, if I am able to fall asleep I’m sure to have a heart stopping nightmare. EACH. AND. EVERY. NIGHT.
You might think, isn’t this a little TMI?!
Well, the one thing I am determined to do is getting rid of the stigma mental illnesses have. It’s nothing less than having a broken leg that stops you from being a mobile as you were before.
Depression can in fact have the exact same effect on you. Not only can it stop you from sleeping, but it can physically paralyse you to the extent that waking up in the morning and starting your day can be the hardest thing you’ve done in a LONG while.
Now that most of what has been happening the past months is out. I want to take the time I need to get back on track. I will be awaiting the birth of the first child of one of my very close friends. He will be who I’m taking care of as soon as she will have finished her maternity leave (3 months in Switzerland). I can’t wait to have the honor to take care of her prescious baby boy and I will do so with passion and dedication. Untill then I will let myself have the time off.
There might or might not be the occasional blogpost.
I’m leaving this here in the hopes you understand.